Quiet

40....George Winston on itunes... only two people on the worship team showing up this morning...Quiet. You know that place of bittersweetness? I guess I am at that place this morning. My life is good, but I feel like something is stale needing to be changed.. My arthritis hurts today. I know, "quit wining, Pete". Thanks Kim for putting up with me for so long. I love you...

Star Wars

When Nate nd I were litle boys, we were at my Aunt and Uncles on Staton Island, NY. The year was 1976 (77?). My dad and my uncle Al took Nate, my cousin Trevor, and I to see Star Wars in the movie theater. I remember the front of the theater, and the smell of popcorn. It was wonderful.
We then went back to my uncle's house and played star wars for several days.

This morning my boys watched star wars and are now playing star wars. I remember being upset that our pretend light sabres did not have the blade. Now my boys have the blade. 6 bucks at walmart. It is so good to see their imaginations run wild like mine did. It is a full circle experience. It makes me smile.

Wake Up Call

Kim is back from her Grandmother's funeral. I will really miss Grandma Corner. It truly was like going to grandma's house when we went there. There was no awkwardness or worry about doing the wrong thing. She always had a smile and cookies in the cookie jar. We would play scrabble for hours. Her great-grand children adored her. We went for walks down by the river. I felt really at home there.

It was good closure for Kim to be at her house for a while by herself. We did not know how bad she was or we all would have come sooner to tell her goodbye. It is hard to see the ones you love pass on. It is a passing of a whole generation of time. It will never be the same again. I have learned form thinking of this that the most important thing in life is your family and keeping close to them. Setting the building blocks now for a good future of happy times when my children are grown with their own families has become more important. I want my grand kids and grand kids to feel the way I feel about Grandma Corner. Coming home is a pleasure for them. A time to relax and be taken care of.

So to those (if any) who read this, make it a priority to prepare for the future of your family. Many hard times and bad things happen to us in life. Stick together and stick it out, loving each other through the good and the bad. I get lost sometimes in this, and needed a wake up call again. Kim, I love you and want to give this to our children. So bare with me as I fumble through. I look forward to seeing our children grown and living good lives of their own. And when it's time for them to come home, I don't want anything to be between us except love and acceptance. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and we have four beautiful children. What more can I ask for. Now, I just have to not mess it up. We will do it together....Pete

Hhhhh....

So I am listening to piano music by Jim Brickman. Dad and Mom come to mind. How hard Mom worked and took care of all of us. Then the Alzheimers....The best time of my Dad's life it seems was taken from him. Not only him, but those years were dominated by the illness, coloring everything a dull gray. Now there is an empty feeling. A big hole. It took much from all of us, not the least being my Dad.

It would have been so cool having a Dad in this time in my life. He would have been 69 this December. He was gone a lot longer than he's been dead. I guess you never really grow up. You always need your Dad. I'm glad I had one for 30 years. Some people never have one.

If you read this Mom, thank you for all the early mornings you left for work, and all the late hours you spent taking care of us. I love you, Mom....Oh, and for helping me pass Algebra. I am a math idiot.

Jack Ass

If I didn't like the President before, I love him now. You must here the clip where he calls Kanye West a "jack ass" for interrupting Taylor Swift's award lime light. The inflection was perfect. I like him. I know the office needs a certain amount of pomp, but a man who does not take himself so seriously that he can't let people see his human side...he's a guy you could sit down to dinner with and feel at ease.

Sunset

Tonight, Kim and I sat on a bench out at the church and watched the sunset. I was so tired, and it was so comforting to sit beside her, being tired. As though there would be no better place to be tired than with her.

We had a really hard couple of days. Like, "I am leaving you", couple of hard days. We are working it out. I still love Kim. I may not like her sometimes, but I love her. Being married is difficult.

It's good to have some one to sit and watch the sunset with.

No Secret

I have come to realize, which is no secret, that there really is no difference between church people and non church people. Of course there is the no smoking, drinking, and public dancing thing (the last being outdated for the most part). At least church people don't tell each other they do. Why do you not take one Baptist fishing with you? He will drink all your beer. Take two instead. You will have all the beer to yourself. They might not even go if there is beer there.

In fact, I find non church people to be more kind and understanding in the face of being wronged. there are exceptions, of course in both cases. The pastor is teaching a sermon on Christians loving other Christians. Is not that the corner stone of the faith. He should not have to teach a sermon on that.

Christians have the same pursuits as non christians. A comfortable place to live. Enough money to enjoy yourself. Two cars. In some cases extreme wealth. If Christians really believed what is in the bible, we would sell everything, purchase an old, crappy truck and fifth wheel and travel the county making sure people don't go to hell.

I rather enjoy unchurched people. I enjoy certain "churched" people as well. Just cut the crap church people. Quit being so psuedo- spiritual.  The world puts you to shame.

I was at church camp this summer playing music for the kids. One session, the teacher was talking about sin. Of all the bad things such as lying, stealing, talking bad about your friends, fighting with no purpose, not loving your fellow human being, what does the speaker pick....smoking. The grandest of all sins. Give me a break. We split churches and treat people terribly, but by golly nobody smokes or drinks. Praise the Lord what a good christian.

The world doesn't hate you because of Christ, they hate you because of you. I hear it constantly from unchurched people. 

Well, I'm done. I'm sure I have been guilty of these things in the past. I hope not again. And no, I am not selling my house and traveling,  telling people how to avoid hell.