Chronic

As I took Emily to school this morning, there was a spot on NPR about chronic illness. I remember in the past, hearing spots like this and not thinking much about it. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, a chronic disease of the immune system. This morning I am stiff. My legs feel like they each way 200 pounds. As I listened I was both thankful and sad. I remember feeling normal in a vague sort of way. I remember having energy all the time, and never really having any pain unless I got injured. I then thought about how things could be much worse for me. People who I know personally struggle with chronic illnesses much more serious than mine. I wonder if there is more immune diseases and chronic illness now or if I just never paid any attention before. Ethier way, take a moment and be thankful for the health you do have. If you are totally healthy don't take it forgranted. Protect it. Even as I type this my wrists are becoming stiff and sore. I'm fine. The radio spot was just an unpleasant reminder of my disease. Be well.

Dad

I am listening to David Nevue piano music. As I listen to a piece called "Goodnight Moon" I have a scene in my mind of Dad in the living room playing his baby grand. His hair is gray and he is old...things not to be. These little glimpses are precious to me. Stay alive in my memory and my heart, Dad. I love you and miss you. I still cry for you...

Quiet

40....George Winston on itunes... only two people on the worship team showing up this morning...Quiet. You know that place of bittersweetness? I guess I am at that place this morning. My life is good, but I feel like something is stale needing to be changed.. My arthritis hurts today. I know, "quit wining, Pete". Thanks Kim for putting up with me for so long. I love you...

Star Wars

When Nate nd I were litle boys, we were at my Aunt and Uncles on Staton Island, NY. The year was 1976 (77?). My dad and my uncle Al took Nate, my cousin Trevor, and I to see Star Wars in the movie theater. I remember the front of the theater, and the smell of popcorn. It was wonderful.
We then went back to my uncle's house and played star wars for several days.

This morning my boys watched star wars and are now playing star wars. I remember being upset that our pretend light sabres did not have the blade. Now my boys have the blade. 6 bucks at walmart. It is so good to see their imaginations run wild like mine did. It is a full circle experience. It makes me smile.

Wake Up Call

Kim is back from her Grandmother's funeral. I will really miss Grandma Corner. It truly was like going to grandma's house when we went there. There was no awkwardness or worry about doing the wrong thing. She always had a smile and cookies in the cookie jar. We would play scrabble for hours. Her great-grand children adored her. We went for walks down by the river. I felt really at home there.

It was good closure for Kim to be at her house for a while by herself. We did not know how bad she was or we all would have come sooner to tell her goodbye. It is hard to see the ones you love pass on. It is a passing of a whole generation of time. It will never be the same again. I have learned form thinking of this that the most important thing in life is your family and keeping close to them. Setting the building blocks now for a good future of happy times when my children are grown with their own families has become more important. I want my grand kids and grand kids to feel the way I feel about Grandma Corner. Coming home is a pleasure for them. A time to relax and be taken care of.

So to those (if any) who read this, make it a priority to prepare for the future of your family. Many hard times and bad things happen to us in life. Stick together and stick it out, loving each other through the good and the bad. I get lost sometimes in this, and needed a wake up call again. Kim, I love you and want to give this to our children. So bare with me as I fumble through. I look forward to seeing our children grown and living good lives of their own. And when it's time for them to come home, I don't want anything to be between us except love and acceptance. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and we have four beautiful children. What more can I ask for. Now, I just have to not mess it up. We will do it together....Pete

Hhhhh....

So I am listening to piano music by Jim Brickman. Dad and Mom come to mind. How hard Mom worked and took care of all of us. Then the Alzheimers....The best time of my Dad's life it seems was taken from him. Not only him, but those years were dominated by the illness, coloring everything a dull gray. Now there is an empty feeling. A big hole. It took much from all of us, not the least being my Dad.

It would have been so cool having a Dad in this time in my life. He would have been 69 this December. He was gone a lot longer than he's been dead. I guess you never really grow up. You always need your Dad. I'm glad I had one for 30 years. Some people never have one.

If you read this Mom, thank you for all the early mornings you left for work, and all the late hours you spent taking care of us. I love you, Mom....Oh, and for helping me pass Algebra. I am a math idiot.

Jack Ass

If I didn't like the President before, I love him now. You must here the clip where he calls Kanye West a "jack ass" for interrupting Taylor Swift's award lime light. The inflection was perfect. I like him. I know the office needs a certain amount of pomp, but a man who does not take himself so seriously that he can't let people see his human side...he's a guy you could sit down to dinner with and feel at ease.